Trials of Eyeliner

Comes across all shy and coy, just another nancy boy

whatnot9

My.. what a large… uhm… bullhorn you have?

We love sculpted prims. We love mesh. We love it so much we go crazy shopping for it. We hit up all of the latest events. We collect. We demo. We flaunt and we preen. “Lookit all my new great stuff! Isn’t it fabulous? You should go buy it too! In fact, I love it soooo much and I look so amazingly real and awesome right now, I’m going to pile on all of my new items and go to the new fair that just opened up today so I can get more mesh pretty things!”

And this is where Nigel has a bit of a nutty.

Come on in and get comfy in the pews, my faithful stalkers, for lo- tonight Nigel is going to rant on improper Event Attendance Etiquette.

There are some NSFW photos behind the cut. They’re not hot. They’re Steaming Piles of Failure. You have been warned.

Look, we all want to show up beautiful. I know that. You know that. Hell, my blog is full of pictures of ME for the love of all that is holy. If anyone who blogs says they’re not enamored with their own avatar, they’re fooling themselves. (What? I’d totally do my avatar. You know you probably would too. Hush.) Why the hell else would we spend all these Lindens on looking the absolute best we can if we’re not going to wear it out? Of course we want to wear it out. But there are places for it- and there are definitely times when you shouldn’t.

Events are one of them.

We ❤ Roleplay opened today. Hooray! I had seen some previews and was really looking forward to going and shopping my guts out. So what do I do? Open my inventory, Go to the Worn Items Tab, Click at the top on “Inventory”, Remove From Current Outfit, and finally put on a full-body Invisible ALpha.

Let me say that again: Take it all off. Wear invisible alpha layer.

No scripts.
Nothing to render.
Low lag.

“But Nigel!” I want to be able to demo clothes! I can’t do that if I can’t see my body!” you cry, pounding your fists on my chest and looking up at me, tears welling in the corners of your eyes. “Well that’s an easy fix, dear. There, there. Here.. all you have to do is make an outfit of system layer only clothes….”

“Oh my god, I can’t be seen in system layer clothing!! And bald? BALD? Oh my god no!” you cry in shock, gasping for breath at the mere thought that someone you have the pixel-hots for might see you in system layer clothing.

“Well, you can just take off the invisible alpha when you want to demo something and then put it back on if you’re so worried about seeing seen in system layer clothes.”

Even without a single thing on but a smile under my invisible alpha layer, I have a Draw Weight (or ARC: Avatar Rendering Cost as it used to be called) of 324. That’s skin and eyes. Nothing else.  System layer clothing does not add to the ARC. So if you’re REALLY not liking the idea of going in a full invisible alpha layer, find a simple system layer outfit. You can even wear tattoos and make-up layers if you really want to do so. None of these system layer textures add to your Draw Weight. You may be fuzzy to someone else as they rez, but they don’t add weight.

However.

No prims. No sculpts. No Mesh.

Say it with me: SYSTEM LAYER ONLY

By far, non-mesh (ie sculpts, flexi or regular prims) hair is the worst offender of them all. As a test, I put on several different styles of hair with/without sculpts, flexi and scripting as well as mesh. Hairstyle Draw Weight varied from 2000 additional Draw Weight  for my long, mesh wasabi pills hair up to a staggering 39000 for a color change, sculpted prim, multi-color, resizeable via click hair from another creator.

“Nigel, dammit, just bottom line it for me!”

If you’re concerned about how you look when you hit the grid, wear the invisible alpha and nothing else. If you want to make the event enjoyable for other people who won’t have to render you and all your 100K+ sculpted, scripted glory, wear the invisible alpha and nothing else. If you want to do your part by not adding to lag, wear the invisible alpha and nothing else.

Because dudes and dolls, you may have fully rezzed on your screen, but I guarantee you that invisible alpha layer would look better than what most of the people at the event are looking at when you finally hit the landing point. Don’t believe me? Well then allow me to present the following  entries into the “What Not To Do” album when considering your high-attendance, lagfest event wardrobe.

whatnot1

My, what a huge sword you have.. no, wait, staff.. sorry, hard to tell with your lower body double attached to your chin.

whatnot2

Peekaboo! Don’t you wish you had that invisible alpha layer now?

whatnot4

Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it would seem that truck hit you really… really hard.

whatnot5

Check out my awesome new boots! They kick my ass for me!

whatnot6

“Honey have you seen my body?” “No, dear, but I found my legs!”

whatnot8

Press The Belly Button!

whatnotfinal

Even the 2006 Ass Handbag Teleporter wasn’t this bad.

whatnot7

Never volunteering for a magicians assistant job ever… again….

25 thoughts on “What Not To Do – The Event Attendee Guide

  1. Orlando says:

    amen

    1. A-Men, Brotha’ Orlando. A-Men! (Queue Choir)

  2. Lola Ghost says:

    I laughed out loud. I’m so guilty of this too, but in my defense I NEVER go to an event until it is not almost over. I don’t have to have things first, so I go when the lag is a lot less.

    1. Going later to an event when its not packed I totally agree- wear what you want and there’s not a completely packed sim full of people desperately trying to get through lagmolassas. And yay, made you laugh 🙂

  3. tessagrace51 says:

    I do this when I don’t really care to go at the beginning… BUT with something like shoetopia or hair fair… I will be in my full body alpha on the minute it opens lol

    1. hi5’s More for the Full Body Alpha Brigade!

  4. haha, great pictures, I was laughing first thing in the morning which is unheard of!
    Full body alpha FTW!

    1. hi5! Few things please me more than making people laugh. Yay, mission accomplished.

  5. I always call these ‘Saucy Jack victim photos’. 😉

    1. I will have to remember that one, Nath. Good one!

  6. I finally quit going to the first days of events. They are useless. I wish more would take you advice. I go full alpha too but for some reason I always forget my eyes and lashes. So if you ever see a pair of eyes with impeccably mascara – ed lashes… guilty! Funny post!

    1. A pair of eyeballs and blinking lashes wandering around a fair would be really amusing! And we’d always know who you were camera perving!

      Thanks for the re-blog, ma’am!

  7. Reblogged this on – Our World is UrWorld – and commented:
    A great reminder to us all posted in a rather funny way! 😀

  8. Rival Destiny says:

    Awesome read! Thanks!

    1. Thank ya, Rival. *hat tip*

  9. Nez says:

    hilatious! 😀

  10. Nez says:

    I meant…Hilarious 😀

    1. Happy to start your day out with a laugh.

  11. Slice says:

    You hit on one of my biggest pet peeves in SL. I full body alpha too AND I grab demos and take them home to try them on instead of standing around taking up space in the sim waiting on things to rez.

    1. Amen, Slice! Glad to see so many on the bandwagon. Thanks for the comment!

  12. aryanna001 says:

    After having a few blah days RL…this made my week! Even with my new PC events are a lag fest and I never go. So I miss out on the lag and the awesome new stuff. That being said, I try to avoid the Sims during peak times and still strip down to my system layered hair based only self.

    Besides, we all know that you and I can pull off bald and naked and still be hot. Am I right?!

    P.S. The new boots kicking my ass is my favorite! ❤

    1. Darlin’, you could pull off anything in SL.

  13. Rwah says:

    “Say it with me: SYSTEM LAYER ONLY” SYSTEM LAYER ONLY. Thank you Reverent.

    You are very right. I have to confess that lately I am very guilty of just hopping over to an event and not thinking about it, but I stand corrected once more. Awesome writing!

    1. Is this the part where we, the helpful congregation, help you find the naked button? 😀

      1. Rwah says:

        err Ill behave.. I think in the future Reverent. 😛

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