Are we ready for a rant, boys and girls? I hope so. It has been a long time since I saw something within SL that not only made my jaw drop but actually made me verp. And last night, while innocently out looking for some hair that I saw someone wearing that I WAAAANT but can’t find, we ran smack into a creation fit only for late night Jersey Shore re-run addicts.
First off, no, I will not give you this person’s name.
I have started this rant about 10 times and really it just boils down to, “WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!”
Do people REALLY find this attractive? Is this someone’s dream girl? I mean, does this really speak to your soul? Do you want this woman as your one and true love forever? When your mind drifts to thoughts of deep, emotional connection, is this the picture you see in your head?
Ok, ok.. lets dial it back a bit, maybe that’s a bit too much.
Would you really even trust your virtual self anywhere near these pixels?
No, I didn’t think so.
Never mind the fact she forgot to take her nipples off. Accidental attachments happen. God knows I’ve gone out with a t-shirt on and my nipple rings still attached. Usually because I’ve taken them off and SL has so generously put them back on for me thinking I made a mistake and wanted to find some matching towels to hang from them as decoration. And all us old timers remember when “Ass Handbag” was a regular occurrence of teleportation back in the day. You see, you would port to a sim and all of your attachments would be on your butt. Shoes- jewelry- hair- you name it.
Never mind the bad freckled skin with her buck-gapped teeth rearing out like a horse ready to snap at me like a salt lick.
Never mind the narrow, beady eyes and overly made-up eyelashes so long and glommed it looks like four bugs crawled up, died, and went belly up with their legs kicking around her eyeballs…. after they walked through tar.
Never mind the fake, mesh breasts were LARGER THAN HER FACE. EACH.
Never mind the bad jewelry and hooker dress. And nylons that look like someone desperately was trying to claw their way out from her snatch. Nevermi— oh for god’s sake, just never mind!
I know, I know.. stop being so judgmental. Be open minded. Be accepting of everyone’s perfectly good right to be exactly as they want to be in SL and have the opportunity to go out and just be whatever they want.
I know. I keep telling myself that.
But at the end of trying to tell myself to be the better man, I simply can’t. Its the Snookie Paradox, as I like to call it.
She has done more damage to the young women- and men- of this generation than any one else. She’s made it ok for girls to think it is ok to not have any class- style- and most importantly, no common sense. Who gets drunk and goes out and gets so drunk she rolls around on the ground showing her snatch and laughing and thinking its just fiiiiiine. Maybe I’m old. Maybe I just don’t get it. That’s fair. But I weep for any young women who think she’s great and want to emulate her- even just in a virtual world.
I suppose my only saving grace is that she never moved from her spot so I wasn’t given the opportunity to tell if her bosom was effected by physics.
And for this I shall be eternally grateful.