Some of you might recall my almost-wanna-be-please-can-it-be infamous towel photo and the rant that ensued regarding reality, Second Life, and the male member. Its over here if you want to look.
Today, boys and girls, we’re going to talk about gravity, Second Life, and the female bosom.
Lets start by taking a look at the lovely Brittainy Collins. A lovely lady in a very nicely done mesh bikini. She lets the skin do the shading work for her cleavage and she’s quite the knockout. (Stylecard info at the bottom of the post). Lets keep that pretty image in mind- at least, as long as you can until I get the steam up in my rant.
Like all good stories, this one begins the same way. “So there I was….” Tempyst and I went to a fashion show on the Second Pride sims yesterday. We got settled into our comfortable, if oddly out of place, red velvet chairs and enjoyed the objectification of twinks on parade in skimpy, boytoy fashions. All was well with the world- we were being catty in IM, the twinks were decked out in their overly muscled, slider-queen skins and shapes, and the clothes were being shown off like they’re supposed to be.
And then- tragedy. (Cue Thunder and Lightning cheesy soundclip) I’m not talking “omg, my mom is on my facebook” kinda tragedy, either. I’m talking Macbeth Tragedy. The kind that leaves a mental skidmark across your brain.
I think I might have mentioned that just because you have a mesh sclupty kit, it doesn’t mean you can make good clothing in my mesh post yesterday. I said something about good textures, I believe. This? This outfit didn’t even have shading. I would even question if the creator textured it at all but just colored the prim pink. And not just pink, but OHMYGODMYEYES PINK. It was recognizably one of the scoop-neck halter top mesh kits with slender straps to just cover a decently sized bosom. If the lack of actual, oh I don’t know, artistic design wasn’t enough- here’s where the tragedy part kicks in. This mesh-kit was not built for Triple D breasts. Even if it was- even if it had an alpha layer to go under it which it didn’t because her torso could be seen on both sides of the “shirt”- even if she had lowered her breast size slightly- none of this would have mattered. Why?
Ladies, I get that you want a little bounce in your step. The “Real Life” physics engine on Second Life gives you the ability to put a little oomph in your rack (and backside, as it happens) so when you walk you can bounce a little and draw our attention a little more. The key here is in that realistic setting of “a little” bounce. The model took her first stuttered-in-lag steps out onto the stage and nuclear explosions could have gone off and not captured my attention because I was laughing too hard at the fact her Triple D breasts (with nipple attachments, can’t forget the protruding nipple attachments) were bouncing so hard and fast that not only did they bounce entirely up and out of the outfit with each step, she would have gotten a twin black eyes and a bruised navel from their landing points.
No, I’m not kidding.
Every. Step. She. Took. sent her breasts in gravity defying directions, in and out of the badly designed meshkit halter top without an alpha layer.
I’ve said it before, but it could stand to be repeated. I get that Second Life is a fantasy world. You can be anything. You can have the enormous rack with cleavage a man (or woman) could get lost in for days. You can safely objectify yourself in what you choose to wear and how you want to be perceived without any real life consequences. But dear God, you could put an eye out with those things.
In the immortal words of James Montgomery Scott, “Y’canna change the laws of physics.”
Brittainy’s Stylecard: (Or how a lovely lady can rock a mesh bikini)
Clothes: Baiastice Metal Mesh Bikini – Blue Water
Earrings: Chop Zuey Sounds of the Sea Earrings
Necklace: Chop Zuey Sounds of the Sea Necklace
Hair: Exile London Rain – Raven
Make-up: KOSH Shimmery & Smoke Eyeshadow – nightblue
Nails: Mandala Nail Palette Medium
Eyelashes: Miamai Catwalk Lashes Evergreen 01 Femme
Eyes: Poetic Color Eyes – Moroccan Nights
Skin: League Skin – Jen Deeptan Bloom